I have so many thoughts running through my mind I will try to make them gel. In case you haven't read my first blog, I have been living with depression for the past 17 years...wow I never looked at it like that before. These 17 years has not only been a struggle for me but also for those around me. I know that it has been hard for my family and friends to deal with me when i wasnt being completely honest with them or myself.
When I was a teen my parents took me to speak with a professional, but thay didnt work out too well, I wasn't willing to open up. So you may ask HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE DEPRESSED??? I was always unhappy with myself and things going on around me, I began to live my life in such a way that no child should. At such a young age I wasn't sure why I felt such a way.
I believe I was about 14 or 15 when I first attempted to commit suicide, this too I kept a secret from everyone. I remember that night like it was yesterday and at first I was ashamed to speak of that night, but now i hope that my experiences help someone else out. I needed help bad! From that day forward I kind of became obsessed with my death, thinking of different plans but never thinking about those around me... I know now that suicide is a selfish thought and act. THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!
My advice to those who are suffering is to make the first step in realizing that this illness is not your fault. No you didn't do anything to deserve it... in fact its GENETICS! CHOOSE LIFE!!! Things will get better with the help of having people around you that are supportive and that value your life as much as you can learn to do again.